We won't sleep together?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
