So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
