i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
