Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
