dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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