Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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