Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
