i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize