i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
