Me. At least after what I've been through.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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