I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Two words: nipple clamps
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