Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
my liver is dry heaving
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
