The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
