I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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