My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
