oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
