Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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