apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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