super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
