I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
now i know why i became what i already was.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize