Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Its about making memories worth repressing
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
