And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
