perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize