just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
