I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We left an ass print on the piano.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
