There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?