Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.