On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
