he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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