its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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