you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
