i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize