Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize