Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
