Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
