i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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