Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize