I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize