pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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