Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
