Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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