Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
