I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
