He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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