I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
