Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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