It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
