Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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