Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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