ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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