I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
