What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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