THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
