Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
