I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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