Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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