Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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