Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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