So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
