24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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