2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
