You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
