On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize