I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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