Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You can't motorboat a personality
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
