ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
