Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
