haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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